Ouch, Narcisa cover — a small white goat with a red bow stands at the edge of a tilting wooden shed, gazing at a sunset of pink and teal clouds.
Book cover of Ouch, Narcisa.

Ouch,Narcisa.

For the ones told they were the problem.
Not another book about them. A book about us.

Pre-order the bookRead an excerpt
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you lost your voice keeping the peace /you shrank and still got blamed /you called hypervigilance responsibility /you made survival mode your identity /you carried guilt that was never yours /you read everyone but yourself /you lost your voice keeping the peace /you shrank and still got blamed /you called hypervigilance responsibility /you made survival mode your identity /you carried guilt that was never yours /you read everyone but yourself /
Why this book exists
In the
making4 years
Forged
throughsurvival, escape, confusion, grief, repair
Toneintimate, sharp, darkly funny, unsweetened
Forscapegoats, truth-tellers, and people healing from family distortion
this book is where the scapegoat stops whispering

The kind of book a friend writes after coming back from hell with: receipts, theories, and a plan to never end up there again.

I am the daughter of a covert-narcissist mother and a borderline father. I am the scapegoat. I am, statistically, also you. Or someone you love. Or someone who's been quietly drowning at family dinners while everyone else passed the bread.

My credentials are not on a wall. I never had a certificate, a mentor, or a clean origin story. What I had was decades of fieldwork surviving emotionally incompetent parents. I hit rock bottom not dramatically, but in the quiet exhausted way, the kind where you stop dreaming and just exist, and even that feels like too much.

I speak from the inside of the experience, not above it. That is my vulnerability. And it is also my authority.

This book is part memoir, part chaotic philosophical deep dive into why humans do what they do to each other, and part brutally honest survival kit for the loops that keep us stuck.

An excerpt · From the introduction

Of course you’re hypervigilant.— you were raised by someone unpredictable.

Of course you have trust issues.— you were lied to by the person teaching you what truth looks like.

Of course you struggle with boundaries.— you were punished for having any.

Of course you feel guilty for protecting yourself.— you were trained to put their feelings above your survival.

Of course you’re exhausted.

You’re not broken. You’re not defective. You’re not too much or not enough. You’re a completely reasonable person responding to completely unreasonable circumstances.

Your feelings are data. listen to them.

— from Ouch, Narcisa, Part One
How this book works

A story, an awakening,
and a very specific toolkit.

Parts One and Two you might read once or twice. Part Three is designed to live on your nightstand, dog-eared and underlined, the kind of book you flip open in the bad hour.

I
the recognition

My Story(and probably yours too)

Growing up with a covert-narcissist mother and a borderline father — because the universe has a dark sense of humor. The sneaky, subtle ways narcissistic behavior shows up and messes with your head. Lots of stories. The 'oh my god, ME TOO' part.

II
the reckoning

The Awakening(when I finally got it)

Four years between 'Oh… this is what's happening' and 'I have actual, functioning boundaries now.' The shift. The research mode. The guilt, the backsliding, the gaslighting from people who wanted the old you back. The fog lifting.

III
the rebuild

Your New Best Friend(the toolkit)

The part you'll come back to at 2am. How your nervous system actually works, what your body does when triggered, and the specific practices and rituals that helped me break free. Designed to be a companion, not a one-time read.

A small, painless checklist

Are you the scapegoat? 🐐

Tick the ones that flicker. There’s no scoring. There’s no losing.(spoiler: you’re not crazy.)

S.
picture me however you want.
Born Brazil
Wrote this in 2 cities, 3 years
Day job recovering computer scientist
Real name classified, for now
A note from the author

Hi. I’m S.

That’s short for Scapegoat. Conveniently, my real name also starts with S.

I use S as strategy, not shame. Narcissists protect their image like dragons protect gold, and I’ve been burned enough times to learn. So my face is not on the cover. I’d rather you build your own version of me as you read.

I’m not writing from a certificate on a wall. I’m writing from the inside of the experience. This book started as an anchor point, a place to record reality while gaslighting tried to erase it. It became something bigger: a map of my own transformation, and a return to my voice and power.

With you,
S.

Pre-order · ships spring 2026

Reserve your copy.
no algorithm, no publisher, just us.

This book is self-published. That means no marketing budget, no bookstore window, and no middlemen quietly skimming the magic off the top. Pre-orders fund the print run and tell me you’re here. Thank you.

No charge today. You’ll get one email when pre-orders open with payment + shipping details.
That’s the whole deal.

Or, just to talk

If something here landed and you want to disagree with me, send me your worst-parent story, or just say “me too” — write me. I read everything.

ouchnarcisabook@gmail.com↗